Lastings Milledge traded to the Nationals for Ryan Church and Brian Schneider? WTF? What a fucktarded trade. I give up on the Mets. I solemnly swear to never attend another Mets game until Omar is gone. Fire Omar! Douchebag. Watch Milledge torch the Mets for the next 10 years. Jesus, what an asshole. I need to sever my twenty something year tie with the Mets and find a new team to root for. Christ.

So I'm off all week because I need to burn an assload of vacation days and I can't carry over and I spend a good portion of it recovering from this crazy ass cold I got from one of my little cousins or from someone on the airplane. This kinda sucks. I'm also doing the every Wednesday off thing for November and December. And then I'm off the last two weeks of the year. Basically, I'm working eight days in December.

Speaking of my cold... I visited the folks in NJ over Thanksgiving weekend. That was the worst flying experience I can recall. Much worse than the time I got stuck in Orlando overnight because Newark was closed due to a blizzard because at least that time I was all comfy in the airport and then the somewhat comfy off-airport La Quinta or whatever it was.

The departing flight to Newark sat on the tarmac for 90 freaking minutes. Luckily I napped for most of it but I was pretty pissed when I woke with all sweaty, with nasty morning breath and feeling pretty damn claustrophobic in my tiny little seat, to the captain telling us we'll be delayed potentially another two hours. Yes, two more fucking hours in this crappy airplane. Hurray. Then this asshole behind me whips out his cellphone and proceeds to call everyone in his company. Dude, just give it up. You ain't getting any work done by talking on the phone. Asshat. Luckily, it was only another 30 minutes or so before we took off. Ridiculous.

The flight back to Atlanta was much worse. I woke up Saturday with a god awful sore throat and knew I was in deep crap. I felt like ass on Sunday and managed to get a couple of hours of sleep in before my flight. I ate some food (turkey soup) and took a Sudafed to cut down on the congestion. So then I've been watching the football game in the waiting area for about half an hour, wishing I could just die and sleep for a few days, when the gate agent announces that take-off is delayed for an hour due to poor visibility in Atlanta. Fuck it all to hell! Luckily I stuffed a pocket full of tissues before I left so I'm prepared to wait it out in misery. But tissue or no tissue, I was a little self-conscious about vigorously blowing my nose in a packed waiting area full of strangers. I mean, damn, that's kinda gross. So I sat there for basically two hours dabbing the wet drippings off my nose. Slightly less gross I guess but pretty damn miserable.

So now we get on the plane. Somehow, we actually manage to take off quickly but I'm still dabbing at my wet nose and wanting to sleep but feeling super cramped in those freaking seats. Miserable, I tell you. The dude next to me is watching a movie on his iPod Touch. I have an iPod Touch. Why the hell didn't I think of that? I'm stuck trying to read my book but I can't freaking concentrate on it.

So a long hour and a half later, we start our initial descent and the pressure in my ears won't freaking equalize. Crap, I forgot that nasal congestion might cause that to happen. My ears really want to explode. So here I am, yawning desperately and holding my nose and exhaling in a fruitless attempt to clear my ears, dabbing my nose, coughing like a typhoid patient and digging through my pockets for new tissues. Everyone around me must have hated me. I know I would. All the while, the iPod Touch dude next to me (who I suspect maybe not be entirely straight, not that there's anything wrong with that) stares out the window on the other side of the aisle for like minutes at a time. Dude, how about have some damn social skills and not stare in my general direction when I'm like an inch away from you. Christ.

We finally land another half hour later and I gotta pee. Bad. Wouldn't you know it, we taxi for like ten freaking minutes while we tour the entire airport. Assholes. I finally get off the airplane and by now it's like 12:30AM and I'm unsure if MARTA is still running so I speed pee and make a bee-line for MARTA (thank god I never check luggage). Great, assholes in front me on the escalator are enjoying the scintillating ride and in no particular hurry to go anywhere so I miss the inter-terminal rail by like 10 seconds. It literally closes its door right as I step off the escalator. Now I can try to walk from Terminal A to main terminal or whatever they call but the sign says the next train is coming in a minute so that's stupid. 30 seconds later, the sign changes the ETA to 1:30 minutes? WTF?! 30 seconds later, back to 1:30. Ass! I watch it count down again for 10 or 20 seconds and, lo and behold, the train magically appears. That sign is worthless, I tell you!

A few minutes later, I arrive at the MARTA stop with Breeze card in hand and there's a sign on the door saying the last train departs at 12:45. I look at my cell phone. 12:52. Son of an ass! I'm thinking I stuck cabbing it back to town but I figure the doors still open so it couldn't hurt to go in and investigate. I tap my card and the gates open. Well, it wouldn't open if trains weren't running right? Right? Yup, I take the escalator up and there's a few dozen people waiting for the train. Phew! I get home and it's 1:15. 6.25 freaking hours to get home. Awful.

So basically, this long winded post can be summarized by saying I got screwed at every possible point of my transportation except for MARTA. Well I guess airport security was pretty quick too so that was good. And traffic was good on the NJ Turnpike so I didn't get screwed there. Whatever.

It's November which means it's time to start buying your Hannukahmaszaa gifts. Not only do I get the pleasure of agonizing about what to get for my parents but we get bombarded with these nauseating Kay Jewelers commercials every damn hour. I'd link up a Youtube video but I actually can't find one right now. Second in line of the advertisers I'd like to send to hell is the ones who creates those damn Lexus commercials where they wrap the car in a bow. Haven't seen those yet this year. Bastards.